Annals of Yes

There are those sacred moments… when the heart swells… and I understand how small and very precious this very moment… and my very life… is.  Like right now.  I bow to It All and my tiny place in it.  This miracle spark of awareness and gratitude.  None of it makes any sense.  But somehow I am here and somewhat somehow a little bit awake and wondering.  I give the biggest softest heartfelt thanks tonight.  For some reason.  It’s all so hard and confusing and sometimes so deeply beautiful.  Everyday I understand more and more my imperfection and perfection and the imperfection and perfection of everyone around me.  I looked deeply into the eyes of another tonight and wondered again in the biggest way at this strange miracle.  Sigh. 

Lately — one of my biggest reminders and comforting thoughts is this: 

whether my biggest fears or greatest hopes are realized, in 100 years it will have all dissipated into the ethers and there won’t even be anyone walking around breathing who remembers me or who speaks my name.  So it’s okay either way.  And means little either way.

So the pressure is off.  I will show up every day and do my best and give thanks and love and try to follow my heart in the best way I know how.  Every moment is precious and the current of time so swift. 

And somehow, I am still here right now and my heart is full of love and I’m giving the most heartfelt thanks for this curious journey.